How to Survive the Family
As you turn the handle to your grandparents’ ancient house, the stench of grandma’s century-old perfume hits you like a holiday train. You take two steps and get tackled by your rowdy 4-year-old cousin. Cheesing that forced smile your mom told you to put on, you walk five more feet as an incoming cheek-pincher approaches and latches on, saying “My, you’ve grown so much!” You smile once again and nod, heading straight for the heavily-spiked eggnog.
Whether you love or hate the idea of climbing out of your sweats, eating home-cooked meals and the incessant family inquisitions, there’s nothing like being home for the holidays.
Even though you’re “all grown up” now, a big college student striving for your dreams, realize these people love you. The least you can do is give them one day out of your year to make them happy.
Buck up, and take comfort knowing you can sleep, get drunk and play Xbox 360 during the other 364 days of the year.
7 Ways to Survive A Holiday Family Get-Together:
1. Sneak out early. Doubtful that anybody notices you’re there anyway.
2. Drink... eggnog anyone?
3. When asked about your future plans and current educational status, don’t mention how you failed a class and won’t graduate on time.
4. Text constantly to your friends back at school and rely on their humor to maintain your sanity.
5. Take way too many pictures and post a slideshow on Facebook entitled “I survived winter break”.
6. Stop complaining and bask in presents, free food and money—think about spending it on beer, laundry and textbooks...
7. When all else fails, smile and nod.