Mr. Webster has many definitions for the word community, ranging from “a group of people living in the same locality and under the same government” to “a group viewed as forming a distinct segment of society” to “an interacting population of various kinds of individuals (as species) in a common location.”  When consulting the thesaurus, words such as neighborhood, society, and kinship show up as possible alternatives.

            As far as Helser Carpenter, Helser Livingston, and Maple Friant are concerned, they only meet one of these definitions – each floor is a group of people living under the same [questionable] government control and in the same general location.  So technically, or at least according to Webster, they are all communities, leaving nothing for me to assess.

            Barker, however, fits all three of Webster’s definitions as well as every suggestion in the thesaurus.  The fact that we’re co-ed; we have things posted on our bulletin boards, by our water fountains, and bathroom stalls; we have countless traditions from WATER FIGHTS to Lawn Chair Brigade to rivaling Harwood; we have t-shirt plans; and that we live in the oldest residence hall on campus are all insignificant.  They have nothing to do with our sense of community.  They may be our way to DISPLAY our Barker Pride, but this floor is more than just a community, it’s a FAMILY.

            Show me one other house on campus that has active members of both the Atheist/Agnostic club and Salt Company and can peacefully co-exist with each other on a regular basis.  Name one other house that looks forward to their house meetings, because they’re a social event.  Point out another house that has open doors, both to their minds and their rooms.  Lead me to another house where you don’t have to lock your doors, because everyone recognizes everyone else in the building, as well as knows their dog’s name, how many times they’ve switched their majors, what their current (and previous) majors were, and who has the most powerful Super Soaker. 

            Maple Friant definitely does not hold any of these characteristics.  Nor does Helser Carpenter.  Helser Livingston comes closer to Barker than any other house I’ve heard about on campus.  Three female houses, giving the guys plenty of social opportunities, surround the male house.  (And let’s get technical; it’s not really cohabitation if they’re not sleeping…)  They discuss the latest issue of Playboy in the den.  They eat together, they study together, they party together, and they babysit each other when things get out of hand. 

Do I regret my actions on the 14th of October?  I regret getting caught.  I regret putting Adam in the position I put him in.  As a friend, I shouldn’t have pinned him between me and his advisors.  But do I feel guilty for possessing a glass of water?  As far as I’m concerned, 80% of the natural world is water; I was just returning it from its oppressed state within the sink to its natural environment in the atmosphere and the ground.

Barker House may often be “in violation of the Iowa State University Student Disciplinary Regulations/Department of Residents Terms and Conditions Hall Sports T&C policy.”  We may not be the most “civilized” bunch of 18-22 year olds on or off campus.  We may be outspoken and come across as eccentric, childish, or even irresponsible.  Feel free to intervene, as you deem necessary; you have a job to do.  However, as Wyatt Earp was told by his father, “Remember this, all of you, nothing counts so much as blood. The rest are just strangers.”