The PiRho Technic   9/13/07   Issue 2

 

Potential Members Spotted!

Thought to be extinct, the rare potential members were actually seen Thursday night in Gilman.  This extremely rare breed of student has not been seen for almost year which led to the belief of extinction.  Blake Schnell, president of SCUM, was available for comment: “I couldn’t believe my eyes!  This is definitely a story I will be telling the grandkids.  Their grandpa actually interacted with potential members.”  And interaction did occur making this an extremely rare event for those lucky members of SCUM.  The five potential members were Chris(chemistry), Christina(biology), Brad(Chem E), Chris (Chem E), and Janessa(Food Sci and Tech).

 

 

SCUM Season Begins; Explosions Heard Throughout Campus

Thursday night, Gilman hall, explosions and fire were reported by fearful custodians.  “Those blasted pyromaniacs are at it again!” claimed an onlooker.  The head of security of Gilman stated, “They called it demo training.”  SCUM members refused comment when leaving the building.  This supposed “demo training” teaches new members the art of ka-boom, an ancient martial arts that involves fire and loud noises.  For those who wish to learn these secret ways, rumors have it that another training session will be held next Thurs at 7:30 pm (1810 Gilman).  Remember folks; safety first, wear your goggles.

 

 

Rumors of Underground Hamster Racing Surface

Rumors have surfaced that the two amazingly awesome co-social chairs of SCUM have been leading an underground ring of hamster racing.  They were unavailable for comment but their room mate Cody Hutcheson was, “I don’t know anything ‘bout any hamsters.”  Rumors also have it that Cody Hutcheson may be the racing bookie.

 

 

 

Grad Advisor Tries Cryogenic Freezing

The Graduate Advisor of SCUM, Sarah Cady reportedly tried to cryogenically freeze herself Thurs night with the help of another graduate advisor, Chad Yuen.  “It was very cold,” Sarah stated briefly after being thawed.

 

 

President of SCUM Held on Initiation Charges

The President of SCUM, Blake Schnell was taken into custody late Thursday night on charges of initiation.  He was later released due to lack of evidence.  Chief of Police stated during a short press conference, “We will get SCUM eventually, they have slipped through our grasps too many times.”